Sadness and Joy

James William Terry was a doctor, an influential member of the Christian Businessman Association, a Bible study leader, loved all things DisneyWorld and had a knack for making the best milkshakes ever.

More importantly, he was a son, a brother, a father and my grandfather. He loved my grandmother and he loved his kids and grandkids. When I was little, he would tell me every time they visited that he loved me and he was praying for my future husband.

I’m so glad that Jon got to meet Tapa.

Most importantly, though, he was a Christian. Everyone around him knew how much he loved Jesus. Next, they found out how much he loved his wife and then the person meeting my grandfather would be quizzed about their priorities. Tapa was a doctor during business hours, but a missionary and a marriage counselor 24/7. In a small town in Missouri, Tapa helped start a citywide prayer breakfast that ended up drawing over 1500 people.

He retired early and he and my grandma traveled and visited grandkids. Nama and Tapa spoiled us rotten and we loved every minute we got to spend with them. For a couple of years, they would come for a week in the summer and stay in a short-term furnished apartment and me and my siblings would each get to spend a day alone with them. We loved it.

A little less than ten years ago, Tapa started forgetting things. First, it was little things like people’s names. Then, it was bigger things like where he left his wallet. Finally, it was essential things like talking and walking. These last ten years have been the hardest for my grandma, my mom and her siblings, the in-laws and the grandkids. Tapa had Alzheimer’s.

Some of the sweetest and hardest lessons I’ve learned about marriage, love and Christ have come from watching Nama and Tapa – both growing up and over these last few years. Nama has taught me more about the selfless love of Christ than she’ll ever know.

Today, my grandpa finally got to meet the Savior that he loved and served. Face to face. He’s whole again – he’s no longer confused, he’s no longer wordless. In fact, I bet he’s singing the praises of His Creator right now. Tapa always loved to sing.

I can’t wait to see him again. I can’t wait for the day when we can have another long conversation and an even longer hug. I can’t wait to tell him all about how I grew up out of my awkward teen years, how I met Jon, and how he was exactly the man that Tapa prayed for.

God has a purpose in everything, even in something as horrific as Alzheimer’s. He has a plan that He is working, even through years of sadness, through a decade of tears.

I’ve been missing you for ten years, Tapa. Words can’t describe the joy I have because you are home and happy and healthy again. I love you.


Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting? But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.

11 thoughts on “Sadness and Joy

  1. That's so beautiful…he loved you more than you can imagine, and he would be so very proud of the woman you've become. He was an amazing man. I'm honored to call him Dad. How I miss him…

  2. It sounds like he had an amazing impact on your life and many others. You'll have to introduce me to him one day in heaven. My love and prayers are with you all.

  3. What an incredible blessing it is to have someone in your life like your grandpa. And an even bigger blessing to know that although we hurt in times like this as Christians we know we will be together again. You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this time.

  4. So beautiful and perfectly written. Praying for strength for you and your family.

    Know I would be hugging you and doing anything I could if I was there.

    Love you!

    ~ Jen

  5. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Erynn. My grandma has alzheimers. I have watched my mom selflessly give and care for her and it has touched my heart in the deepest parts of me.
    She too was in love with Jesus. She is who I learned so much about my faith from. Now she barely remembers my name. I don't look forward to losing her, but I do look forward to the day that she will get to dance with Jesus in Heaven. My grandma used to love to dance.
    Thank you for sharing your heart. What a precious tribute to your special Tapa.
    God Bless you.
    Melissa D.

  6. Erynn, I am both sad and rejoicing for you at the same time. My Grandma (Mom's mom) had Alzheimers, and it was the same way with her…10 or more years of not knowing us and just surviving. That was one of the few things my Mom was very worried about…getting that terrible disease herself. Praising God that He protected her from that before He took her home. Maybe your Tapa and my Mom will meet and talk about their wonderful Granddaughter/Daughter. We will never know this side of Heaven what happens up there. Praying for your heart and your family during this time of sadness. Love you, my friend. — Linda

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