So, we are in the middle of potty training. Which means that I spent this last week in sweatpants, listening to Robin Williams sing “PRINCE ALI, FABULOUS HE” while I tried cajoling, enticing and all-in-all begging my child to please just try and use his muscles to poop IN THE TOILET and not in his underwear.

Which is when he flexed his biceps for me and said, “Well, I have big muscles.”

I don’t have much to report this week. Not that I have much to report any week, but especially not this week because we are potty training.

Just in case you missed that.

We’ve been using a toilet seat insert thing because there was no way in the WORLD I was going to clean a plastic stand alone thing. So, the other day, he’s sitting there on it, talking a million miles a minute about how he’s little and he has to use the baseball potty thing. And then he says, “You’re a big kid, Mama. You have big legs and a big tummy.”

Well. Thank you. Needless to say, I spent some time working out that afternoon.

Since we stayed home pretty much a week straight, I think we both reached our limit of being cooped inside. Even when he was very tiny he still thrived on getting out of the house and going places. Which works great because I am the same way. Thursday night, Nathan and I were so starved for any kind of human interaction that we drove to Chick-fil-A, ordered dinner in the drive-thru and then both of us just sat there and watched all the happy people through the windows playing and eating their food inside.

We are pathetic.

This week, I’m hoping to take him a few places and be that annoying customer who is constantly asking where the bathroom is. The good news is he is doing better. Yesterday we went the whole day without a single accident. And we weren’t even home the whole day.

A few weeks ago, Nathan got on this kick of saying words that he thinks are bad when he’s upset or just to get a reaction out of me. (Anyone else getting Ramona and Beezus flashbacks here?) His favorite phrase?

“NEVER MUD.”

There were a few times this was uttered as I dragged him to the potty and we had to have a few chats about how we need to have sweet words and talk sweetly and be kind because words are important. So now, he usually plops down on the toilet and looks up at me and says, “Good morning, Mama! How you doing today?” no matter what time of the day it is.

Wish me luck.